Cleaning out the basement, Rob Dork, & and a BFG Contest!

This past weekend was my first wedding anniversary. To celebrate, we went north, to Door County (for those unfamiliar, that would be the “thumb” part of Wisconsin). On the way, we stopped at my parents’ house in Manitowoc. My old man has been in the process of cleaning out the basement for, oh, about 10 years now, and finally got me to go downstairs and check through the boxes I had there to see if there was anything I wanted not to be thrown out or given away. Before I get to the meat of this post, I wanted to share one item with everything. Just to show how WAY COOL and TOTALLY DUMB I was as a little kid.

Hell Yeah!! That’s TOPPS MAGAZINE, fools! With free baseball cards inside (they were long ago removed)!! But there’s also that odd image down in the lower right…

Oh! Of course, that would be the former Cincinnati Reds’ fire-baller Rob Dork. Well-known for his terrible complexion and devil beard. Here he is on his 1992 Topps card, holding a baseball that he has signed, “Rob Dork.” Why wouldn’t he? It’s his name, after all.

I actually REMEMBER doing this. It was in school when I was in fourth grade, with Mr. Marinello as a teacher. I don’t recall WHY I did it. Evidently, I had some beef with Rob Dibble that led me to deface his picture on the cover of a magazine. Dibble had a number of incidents during the 1991 season, including heaving a baseball into the bleachers after a save and hitting a woman. I had to look this stuff up, so I can only assume that had something to do with my little artwork here. Odd thing is, as an adult I’ve long held the opinion that Dibble was a pretty tremendous dickhead (a “dork,” if you will). I guess that opinion has deeper roots than I thought.

ANYWAY. I didn’t come here today to tell you about Rob Dibble. I came here today to tell you about a contest. It’s been a while since anyone in the blogosphere held a BIG FUN GAME. I’m going to call this one the BASEMENT FUN GAME. That’s right, all the crap I hauled out of my parents’ basement is up on the block. I’ve got 13 BIG BASEMENT FUN prizes up for grabs.

Here’s how I’ll do it… I’ll do an official entry post on Wednesday at 5 pm central time. The first 13 people to comment will get a spot. I’ll start the contest later on in the week. The names will be randomized and each prize will be assigned a number. Pick a number, steal a prize, or pass to the back of the line. You can only pass once and prizes can only be stolen twice. I’ll give you 24 hours to make a choice (and please, contact me so I have your email for the game, mine can be found in the ‘complete profile’ link).

A word on these prizes… they are all things that I actually took out of the basement. And the circumstances around those basement boxes means it’ll be an interesting kinda game. I moved out of the house in 2000, so everything is at least that old. It’s stuff that I haven’t bothered to take out for my current collection, so it’s not exactly Cadillac material. On the other hand, it’s stuff that has survived numerous purges over the years (this was not the first time I was called on to get rid of some of my shit in Manitowoc), so it’s all – for whatever reason – stuff that I have yet to toss in the trash. And, of course, it’s been a basement for nearly two decades, so some of the stuff isn’t exactly in pristine shape (although none of it is damaged too badly).

It’s mostly baseball and football stuff, with a tiny bit of hockey thrown in. So, all in all, none of these prizes is gonna make your year, but it’ll be a fun bunch and I think some lots will inspire some spirit stealing and strategizing.

Anyway, check back for the entry post and SHARE this with others. If we fill all 13 spots, I’ll toss in some bonus stuff with each prize based on your interests (if I can meet them).

Now go to it, you dorks!