Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Life Advice from the 1999 Brewers

Recently, I posted a trade with Robb of Brewers792 involving a set of 1999 Brewers police cards. As a civic service, I am going to share some of the VERY IMPORTANT advice featured on the backsides of the cards. 

Mark Loretta sez "Be careful when peddling"

I guess it was 1999, so maybe kids still did that. I remember selling candy bars for Cub Scouts door-to-door as a kid. I'm pretty sure my parents did not come with. 

Fernando Vina sez "Don't trespass without a buddy!"

After hours indicates these places are all closed, right? And "arcade game stores"? Is that a place that sells arcade machines? And this was 1999, the arcade was pretty much dead by then. C'mon, 'Nando, get with the times. 

Jeromy Burnitz sez "Memorize your name"

It is important to know your own full name. Especially if you need someone to explain to you what a full name is (first, middle, and last).

Bobby Hugues sez "I want to give more than one piece of advice"

OK, those are two totally different ideas. It's like a Trump line of thought. "Never ride with a stranger. Remember, exercise is important."

Valerio De Los Santos sez "Wash yerself, you smelly bastard"

I mean, that's solid advice, but there are more reasons than self-esteem to take a shower and brush your teeth. 

So there you have it! Advice for better living! Now, if you'll please excuse me, I'm going to get high and break into an arcade machine warehouse... just after I shower... ah, forget it. I'll go as-is.